KANNAGI

Preening in the mirror, I smiled to myself. I looked beautiful. Even without ornaments, I looked as beautiful as I was looking on my wedding day, twenty years back. My father was a rich businessman so was my father in law. In order to showcase their prosperity and power they showered finest of the ornaments and gifts upon me. Wedding was a fairy tale for me- new clothes with expensive embroidery, exclusive jewellery and extra pampering made it worth enjoyable affair.

When the groom arrived with the barat procession each and every woman of the household gasped in amazement.

“He is just like Deva (God) ascended on earth to marry you.” One of my aunts said.

“He is the most handsome groom I have ever seen.” another aunt claimed.

“”Look and see yourself, how dynamic his is.” my maid and best friend, coaxed.

I gathered all my courage but before I could…

Amma (mother) said, “No, never. It is a bad omen to see the groom before garland ceremony.”

By the time of garland ceremony I was so excited to see my groom as a child got excited to see a shooting star after a long span of staring at the sky. Adeline rushed through my veins and I thrilled. I realized it was love at first sight. All the other ceremonies were just like a dream. I came with Kovalan leaving all the near and dear except, Sakhi. She came with me. But as we approached his house, a fear replaced my excitement. I had never been away from mother.

His father’s house in Puhar was as big as my father’s. When he was helping me out of the cart, he extended his hand. I took it. All my fears vanished. He took me to an exciting journey of love and romance. I had not got truly accustomed with this new life when one day he came to me and said, “Now it’s time for me to shoulder my responsibilities. I am going on a business voyage. Wish me luck.”

I was dumbstruck. “How will I live all alone?”I managed to say with a sob.

“You are my strength. Make friends here. Strengthen your relations with Amma(mother) and others in the house. I promise I will return with a unique gift for you. Smile…”

I smiled. The prospects of unique gift kept me happy for only a few days. I started missing him very soon.  One day when I was staring blankly out of the window my mother in law came to me. She affectionately touched my cheek and said, “You are no longer a carefree teenager. Now you are a married woman. Learn to manage the kitchen household chores, servants etc. If you want a happily married life you have to learn them. From that day I whole heartedly started learning the skills that my mother in law considered key of a happy married life. Days, moths, years passed. I became perfect in managing the house.

 “Get ready, your husband is coming.”She told me one fine day. Sakhi got me ready just like a bride. The house became alive with festival spirit. He came with enormous wealth. Confidence and maturity were making him more handsome.

“You have become more beautiful.” he faltered me and handed a gift box to me. It had the most beautiful anklets I had ever seen.

“Do you know what is unique in them?”He asked.

“Their beauty.”

“No their sound. Other pearl filled anklets sound different but they has rubies inside them. I will recognize your footsteps from others. These anklets will sound differently sweet.”

Soon my anklets and his prosperity became talk of the town, that earned him  many friends and visitors. To accommodate them he built a new house. I shifted to a new house with him. That brought a whole lot of new responsibilities. I got busy in managing the house as my mother in law had taught me.

One day we went to the temple. There I saw a man selling a calf. It was looking sad and thin.

“What happened to it?”I asked.

“It lost its mother. I am too poor to support it. You are mother. Please buy it. He pleaded.

I looked  at Kovalan for his approval but he was looking at something… no someone else. An extremely beautiful woman clad in yellow sari and yellow floral ornaments was descending the stairs of the temple.

“She is the courtesan dancer, Madhvi.” The poor man supplied the information.

Caught red handed, he was bit embarrassed. He turned his attention towards me.

“Look at this poor calf. It has no one to look after.”

“And you want to look after it.”He smiled and bought it for me.

I tried to appear cheerful but in the back of my mind my husband staring that woman was disturbing me. Later we got back home. I got busy with the calf, Gauri and other household chores. In the evening when I asked about him a servant told me that he had gone to the, Madhavi’s place.

That was a jolt for me but I consoled myself that there was nothing to worry I had the key of happily married life. But I was wrong. The visits that started as a casual outing became addiction  within no time. Time passed by and he started living with her, leaving the grand house that he had built with meticulous precision. He left me with no one to find the difference     in the sound of my anklets from others. The adjectives-  Lucy, Fortunate that were earlier used for me were replaced by Poor, Miserable etc. It was quite hard for me to tolerate all this, so I cut off myself socially. My mom and mother in law tried to reach me out but I was too confused to listen to them.

The wealth of my house started draining into Madhavi’s house. Sakhi asked me many  times to return his servant empty handed, but how could I?  It was all earned by him. When my most priced  possession was there, how could I care for these metallic coins.

Years passed by, the ornaments on my body got less and less. I had only  Sakhi and Gauri with me. Now there was nothing to manage in the house, no servants, no food grains, no wealth. I spent my time with Gauri. It had became a cow. It gave us milk. It had no prejudice against Kovalan as Sakhi had.

In the evenings, I found solace in meditation. I asked mother Goddess to give me strength to wait for   Kovalan.    I felt her energy on my finger tips. Later through my hands and then after daily practice of so many years, it  felt as if I am in a cradle and mother Goddess is rocking it affectionately. Waiting for him became the only purpose of my life.

“Tonn…”a sonorous sound brought me back. It was Sakhi. She was scared.

“What happened?”I asked.

“You were glowing like a Goddess.” she said.

I brushed her off, “May be poverty and stress had made you crazy.”

Both of us giggled. A loud and hearty laugh, after a very long time. Kovalan’s servant was again at door.

“You are again here, don’t you see we have left with nothing.” Sakhi was mad with anger.

He bowed and kept silent. I took out the only ornament left with me, my anklets.”

“No mother I can’t take it. Master will kill me.”He said.

This made me realize that this was not Kovalan who sent him to get money but someone else.

Then I had no other option except Gauri to save my husband’s reputation.

“No don’t send it, it will die losing her mother for the second time.”Sakhi was desperate to stop me. But I was helpless.

He went away with the only support I had.

Next morning when I sat before mother Goddess for meditation, I saw Gauri she was not eating anything. There was chaos all around. A fat woman was chiding it. Suddenly Kovalan came. He instantly recognized Gauri. He caressed it and fed it.

How come it is here.”He asked his servant.

“It was the last possession Mother had.”He replied.

“What blunder I committed?  It’s time to go home. He said.

Ï opened my eyes it was not a dream. I called out Sakhi, “Decorate the house and light the stove, today I will cook. He is coming.”

She stared me with pity but did as I said. When the house and food was ready Kovalan was at door, after so many years. He looked pale and tired.

“Come have food.”I said. After so many years nothing changed between us but almost everything changed around us.

“Lets move to some other city and start a new life, I can’t stand peoples judgmental eyes here” He said.

We left for Madurai leaving our city back. The journey was tough but at last we reached there , surviving all odds. A kind man on the outskirts of the city gave his out house to us     to live. He promised to help Kovalan start up  his business here.

When I asked him to take my anklets and get some money he refused. But we had nothing except them, so he decided to take one anklet to the King’s jeweler and sell it. It was time he should come It started raining. I finished all my household chores alone, without Sakhi. Coming out of the flashback, I smiled at the mirror. A new life, a new beginning.

It was getting late enough to be worried. I once again stepped into the balcony and looked down. Except for a drenched street dog that was lying down miserably near the gate, there was not a soul to be seen anywhere. Rainwater had puddled under the lamppost. A breeze ruffled the mango tree in the courtyard and a few twigs  fell down and broke. Thunder rumbled in a distance .Did  I hear a soft knock at the door? I turned back there was no one.

I came closer to the door, there was a boy hiding behind it. He was crying. Oh! He was the boy who went with Kovalan to the jeweler.

“What happened? Where is my husband?”

“Jeweler says he is a thief. The King has ordered his execution in the amphitheater of the city.”He managed to say sobbing.

No it could not happen. Composing myself I said, “Take me there.”

I ran with the boy for the first time in my life, barefoot, in an unknown city for my life my Kovalan. When I reached there, bosom heaving, I was drained out. I tried to shout but the huge crowd was too loud. Till I managed to make my way through the crowd near him, he was hanged. My life was snatched away mercilessly.

In acute pain I could only shout, “Mother Goddess…” with my arms towards sky. I felt energy flowing through me, unstoppable energy. Now I was not an unnoticeable victim but an epitome of strength. Anger and hatred was oozing out of my eyes. The crowd made way for me. I went near Kovalan’s body.

“O King! What Neanderthal methods of justice you use? Give me back my husband, he was innocent.”

“He stole Queen’s anklet.” he stammered.

“This anklet” I pulled out my other anklet.

“What was your anklet filled with?”I asked the Queen.

“Pearls.” she whispered.

I tore open my anklet and red rubies scattered like blood drops all over. I started burning with anger and grief. The city where an ordinary woman could not get justice, she had to become Goddess todo justice with herself is destined to burn like hell. My curse fell on the city. King and Queen died leaving the city burning.

“Mother Goddess, take me with you.” I called her for a last time.

She came in a beautiful cart with Kovalan sitting beside her in all his old glory. My wait was over. We were together. A happy ending of my story.

BEING HENPECKED

Henpecked

Henpecked. This is what people call me. I am not a writer or poet. I am a simple Graduate in Agriculture. I did not choose that name rather it was given to me without ever being asked for it.

I had been an outstanding performer in school and hailed from a generally well off family. So my parents had easily gotten me married to a beautiful girl. But unfortunately, she was too intelligent and too practical. The problem was that she was more intelligent and more practical than me!

She rendered my full support when I told my parents about my idea of pursuing a career in farming. My parents who initially did not welcome the idea as my mates were drawing a respectable salary from a status quo corporate career. 

When I told my wife about my idea of fish ponds within the farm, she advised I obtain some technical help.

“I have read about it plenty.” I said in an attempt to defend my abilities.

“But things are quite different from books when applied to reality.” She tried to convince me.

I should have listened. Over confident with my ideas, I went ahead and suffered losses as all the prawns died due to white spot disease. I became depressed and my parents started coaxing me to leave the farming industry and expressing that it was not too late to join some corporate house. But my wife had faith in my idea.

 She asked me to contact the Central Marine Fisheries Research Institute. I did and roped in some experts who told me about the aeration, feed management, checking of oxygen and water level. I tried again and started producing 10 kg prawns daily to supply to the nearest five star hotel. I recovered all my losses. My education and hardwork, with her intelligence made us a very good team. 

This propelled us to expand from only farming to also growing vegetables, raising fish ponds, and poultry farming on our land. We became the most prosperous house of the village. Our next vision was to start up a dairy farm. 

But my mother was not comfortable with me taking advice and discussing such matters with my wife. Firstly, she asked me to not involve her in those matters but when I did not listened to her, my own mother started to call me henpecked. Soon the whole village followed the suit. When I came to know about it, I hated it. My priorities changed. I left the team spirit. Now my sloe motto was to get rid of that name. The more I tried to run away from it, the more it stuck to me. 

It became impossible for me to walk on the streets without thinking that people are talking about me being henpecked. In desperate attempts to change everyone’s opinion about me, I foolishly started opposing my beloved wife’s each and every advice.

“Don’t go to Pushkar Fair to buy a single buffalo. It would be too costly.” She tried to stop me.

But I saw the look on my mother’s face which only drove me to do anything to prove her that I was not henpecked.

“It has been just a week after demonetization. There will be confusion all over. Not every farmer is educated like you.” She again persuaded.

Now this had become a matter of my pride. I did not want to hear the advice of someone less qualified than me. Thus, I went. 

Thousands of traders, farmers, villagers and tourists were there in the five day Pushkar fair. But demonetization had taken a toll. Traders were clueless about the mode of payment. I thought I had to return empty handed.  Not just money my reputation was also at stake. The thought of my mother’s face with that sarcastic smile was making everything worse.

When I was standing beside a tea stall, arms akimbo, lost in the iota of self pity, two men who were sitting there offered me tea. That made me suspicious as demand of lesser denomination notes had skyrocketed, making even the purchase of tea a luxury.

“Come to buy a horse or camel.”One of them asked.

“Buffalo”. I replied.

“Which breed?” They were persistent.

“Murrah.” I was keeping it short.

“Buffalo. Murrah.” They repeated my words with great enthusiasm.  

“Ghanshyam of our village is also here to sell his buffalo of same breed.” They said.

That made me interested.

“Can you help me to crack the deal.” This time I was persistent.

 Within a few minutes a villager was there with a buffalo.

“You have a bank account?” I asked.

 “Yes.” He said.

After checking the buffalo’s   white mark, teeth, tail etc. I sealed the deal in rupees 50,000. But my gut instinct told me that something was fishy about those strangers. I had heard many incidences of people being duped in such fairs.

 Ghanshyam gave them their share of brokerage and went. But when I offered them brokerage, they strongly refused. 

“You are just like our brother. Ghanshyam is so arrogant.” They said.

Their humble gesture won my heart and made me repent my gut instinct. I thought it was my lack of confidence that was making me feel that. I offered them lift. After some distance we stopped at a roadside dhaba (eatery) for lunch. There they spiked my food and I dozed off. It was the humble dhaba owner who splashed some water on my face and woke me up. 

“Your friends had asked me to let you sleep for a while as you were quite tired.” He told. 

They tricked me and went away with my buffalo, leaving me alone with my gut instinct mocking at me. It was really hard for me to believe that I had been duped. 

What would Mom say about me? was my first thought. After some time, it became the only thought.

I went to the local Police station and lodged an FIR. The officer in charge asked, “What happened?”

I had to give him the whole account of my foolishness.

“Don’t panic. They must have taken the buffalo by crossing the river. We will soon find them on the basis of your description.” He said.

I was again on road wishing this road to never end. I did not want to face my wife or Mom. I was desperately praying some miracle to happen. My belief in God became quite strong.

“Please pull me out of this mess. I will always listen to my wife’s advice.” I urged Him.

 The next morning when I reached the village, I saw two policemen, and a buffalo.

“Do you know Subedar Singh’s house?” They asked.

“That’s me and this is my buffalo! Where did you find it?” I asked, not believing the sight in front of me.

“It was brought to the police station.” They answered laughing and narrated the whole incident for me.

“Those cons, took the buffalo along the river. But the current was quite strong. They tied their belongings to its horn. Buffalo crossed the river but the cons could not  make it and went away with the current. Someone found it on the banks of the river and brought it  to us. We had information about you so we came.”

Their story sounded like the answer to all my prayers. I thanked them with all my heart.

“Pleasure is all ours. Your name is quiet popular, so we wanted to meet you.” They said and went away. 

Before knocking the door and entering my house, I promised myself to always be henpecked as it suited me. Whatever name my mom or the villagers choose to label me as, I know they all love me. 

I smiled and knocked on the door, eager to show them the buffalo.

CHRYSALIS

CHRYSALIS

Stuck at a stand still in the middle of prime time traffic, Krishna looked around. Passengers with luggage some sitting, while some clung to the poles trying to not knock into the passengers beside them. Her eyes rested on a Kashmiri couple for a while then came back to her fellow passenger beside her. He was a young boy with his eyes closed and headphones plugged into his ears. A smile appeared on her lips. Looking at the boy, a wild thought came to her mind- holding her hand Peter Pan is taking her to Neverland, so that she will remain a girl…. forever.

Since she was a girl she had a wonderful quality; the gift to read the minds of the people. Yes, she could make out what a person was thinking with just a second glance. But no one could quite read her. You would never have guessed seeing the sixty-year-old, Krishna, wanted  to live her life again, right from childhood. That was the reason while leaving home, a week ago, she could sense that her daughter-in-law was quite happy and relieved when Krishna’s bus had onset its departure from the station. Her daughter-in-laws, “Come soon Mamma! Miss you.” was superficial.

Krishna could not figure out what makes her presence undesirable to her daughter-in-law. She could not have survived a single day with my mother-in-law, Krishna thought sarcastically.

It had been very difficult for Krishna to adjust after her marriage. She entered a home with a terror of a mother-in-law, and husband who was less of a companion and more like a teacher. He always coaxed her to study, regardless of her unending household chores. Her only horizon were her kids- Avni and Akash, as they filled her with joy.

“Hoooonk…”The loud horn of the bus snatched her from her past to the present. She could not see of a single reason to why the driver had honked the horn. The bus could not move even an inch within the jam packed highway. Silence fell for a few seconds within the bus, but it was not absolute. Krishna could hear a soft, deep moaning. She knew it was the Kashmiri lady. She was in labour pains.

The picture of labour room, women crying in pain, started coming like a slide show before her. She closed her eyes tightly, but it did not stop. Tried taking deep breaths but it did not stop. Her nightmare refused to fade away and she was about to break down.  Suddenly, someone jerked her. It was that boy, her co-passenger.

“Aunty, are you all right?” he asked.

She just managed to nod. He gave her some water and it helped, but only temporarily. She took out a string of beads and started chanting some mantra that the life coach had taught her. She had spent the last week, away from her home, in his workshop to deal with such panic attacks she had been going through for the past year. Though she had doubts about its success. In all of this chaos and her chanting, she could clearly hear the ladies’ moaning. She knew things would worsen with time. Soon, the whole bus became aware of her plight. Her husband went out of the bus in search for some help, but returned with no luck. 

Everyone on board started advising him, making things only more difficult for the poor couple. Only Krishna was chanting mantras, indifferent to her surroundings. 

Past events were flashing before her eyes.

“Come on study, you are not that tired.” demanded her husband, coaxing her to study.

She was running to college, wearing a white coat. At-last earning respect from her in-laws as her career proceeded to a success. Her kids grew up, got married. Avni came home  for her first delivery. Her last breath….Her hope filled eyes.“Maa, you will save me right?” Her last words.

The leading Gynaecologist of the city could not save her own daughter. She left her career and cocooned herself in guilt and fear.

“Maa..” the lady screamed in pain and her voice penetrated through Krishna’s cocooned heart. It broke free from the chrysalis of despair and grief.  

She got up authoritatively, “Don’t panic, I am a doctor.” 

Her words changed the scene of the bus. She caressed the forehead of the Kashimiri lady and murmured, “Avni, this time I will not lose you. I am with you. Everything will happen naturally. You will be alright.”

“She understands only Kashmiri.” Her husband said. Krishna smiled and replied, “It doesn’t matter.” 

She did what she was best at, keeping the other passengers on tenterhooks. Within a few minutes, a healthy baby boy was on the bus. The crying sound of the new born brought cheer to not only the passengers of the bus, but to the people in nearby vehicles as well.

The couple thanked Krishna. The Kashmiri language was foreign to Krishna’s ears, but familiar to her heart. She looked at the new mother with teary eyes and a warm smile. The bus soon started crawling . With in a few minutes the road was clear as if it had been waiting for the baby's arrival. An ambulance was awaiting at the Toll Plaza, thanks to the smart phone in the hands of the boy sitting next to Krishna. One by one, they all three stepped off the bus.The woman turned to look back at Krishna.Her eyes were filled with gratitude. All the passengers waved at them as they were some long lost kin.

It was a smooth ride after that. They reached their destination very fast.Krishna got off  the bus to see Akash already there for her. He walked up and hugged her tightly.

“Mom, you are a hero! Look!” He exclaimed, showing her his phone. It was her with the Kashmiri women and her child. Someone had uploaded the whole story with the caption ‘New Life in a Jam’.

“Welcome home, Maa” Her daughter-in-law greeted. 

Krishna smiled because she knew it was a real welcome. A real home coming for her with a new life ahead.