KANNAGI

Preening in the mirror, I smiled to myself. I looked beautiful. Even without ornaments, I looked as beautiful as I was looking on my wedding day, twenty years back. My father was a rich businessman so was my father in law. In order to showcase their prosperity and power they showered finest of the ornaments and gifts upon me. Wedding was a fairy tale for me- new clothes with expensive embroidery, exclusive jewellery and extra pampering made it worth enjoyable affair.

When the groom arrived with the barat procession each and every woman of the household gasped in amazement.

“He is just like Deva (God) ascended on earth to marry you.” One of my aunts said.

“He is the most handsome groom I have ever seen.” another aunt claimed.

“”Look and see yourself, how dynamic his is.” my maid and best friend, coaxed.

I gathered all my courage but before I could…

Amma (mother) said, “No, never. It is a bad omen to see the groom before garland ceremony.”

By the time of garland ceremony I was so excited to see my groom as a child got excited to see a shooting star after a long span of staring at the sky. Adeline rushed through my veins and I thrilled. I realized it was love at first sight. All the other ceremonies were just like a dream. I came with Kovalan leaving all the near and dear except, Sakhi. She came with me. But as we approached his house, a fear replaced my excitement. I had never been away from mother.

His father’s house in Puhar was as big as my father’s. When he was helping me out of the cart, he extended his hand. I took it. All my fears vanished. He took me to an exciting journey of love and romance. I had not got truly accustomed with this new life when one day he came to me and said, “Now it’s time for me to shoulder my responsibilities. I am going on a business voyage. Wish me luck.”

I was dumbstruck. “How will I live all alone?”I managed to say with a sob.

“You are my strength. Make friends here. Strengthen your relations with Amma(mother) and others in the house. I promise I will return with a unique gift for you. Smile…”

I smiled. The prospects of unique gift kept me happy for only a few days. I started missing him very soon.  One day when I was staring blankly out of the window my mother in law came to me. She affectionately touched my cheek and said, “You are no longer a carefree teenager. Now you are a married woman. Learn to manage the kitchen household chores, servants etc. If you want a happily married life you have to learn them. From that day I whole heartedly started learning the skills that my mother in law considered key of a happy married life. Days, moths, years passed. I became perfect in managing the house.

 “Get ready, your husband is coming.”She told me one fine day. Sakhi got me ready just like a bride. The house became alive with festival spirit. He came with enormous wealth. Confidence and maturity were making him more handsome.

“You have become more beautiful.” he faltered me and handed a gift box to me. It had the most beautiful anklets I had ever seen.

“Do you know what is unique in them?”He asked.

“Their beauty.”

“No their sound. Other pearl filled anklets sound different but they has rubies inside them. I will recognize your footsteps from others. These anklets will sound differently sweet.”

Soon my anklets and his prosperity became talk of the town, that earned him  many friends and visitors. To accommodate them he built a new house. I shifted to a new house with him. That brought a whole lot of new responsibilities. I got busy in managing the house as my mother in law had taught me.

One day we went to the temple. There I saw a man selling a calf. It was looking sad and thin.

“What happened to it?”I asked.

“It lost its mother. I am too poor to support it. You are mother. Please buy it. He pleaded.

I looked  at Kovalan for his approval but he was looking at something… no someone else. An extremely beautiful woman clad in yellow sari and yellow floral ornaments was descending the stairs of the temple.

“She is the courtesan dancer, Madhvi.” The poor man supplied the information.

Caught red handed, he was bit embarrassed. He turned his attention towards me.

“Look at this poor calf. It has no one to look after.”

“And you want to look after it.”He smiled and bought it for me.

I tried to appear cheerful but in the back of my mind my husband staring that woman was disturbing me. Later we got back home. I got busy with the calf, Gauri and other household chores. In the evening when I asked about him a servant told me that he had gone to the, Madhavi’s place.

That was a jolt for me but I consoled myself that there was nothing to worry I had the key of happily married life. But I was wrong. The visits that started as a casual outing became addiction  within no time. Time passed by and he started living with her, leaving the grand house that he had built with meticulous precision. He left me with no one to find the difference     in the sound of my anklets from others. The adjectives-  Lucy, Fortunate that were earlier used for me were replaced by Poor, Miserable etc. It was quite hard for me to tolerate all this, so I cut off myself socially. My mom and mother in law tried to reach me out but I was too confused to listen to them.

The wealth of my house started draining into Madhavi’s house. Sakhi asked me many  times to return his servant empty handed, but how could I?  It was all earned by him. When my most priced  possession was there, how could I care for these metallic coins.

Years passed by, the ornaments on my body got less and less. I had only  Sakhi and Gauri with me. Now there was nothing to manage in the house, no servants, no food grains, no wealth. I spent my time with Gauri. It had became a cow. It gave us milk. It had no prejudice against Kovalan as Sakhi had.

In the evenings, I found solace in meditation. I asked mother Goddess to give me strength to wait for   Kovalan.    I felt her energy on my finger tips. Later through my hands and then after daily practice of so many years, it  felt as if I am in a cradle and mother Goddess is rocking it affectionately. Waiting for him became the only purpose of my life.

“Tonn…”a sonorous sound brought me back. It was Sakhi. She was scared.

“What happened?”I asked.

“You were glowing like a Goddess.” she said.

I brushed her off, “May be poverty and stress had made you crazy.”

Both of us giggled. A loud and hearty laugh, after a very long time. Kovalan’s servant was again at door.

“You are again here, don’t you see we have left with nothing.” Sakhi was mad with anger.

He bowed and kept silent. I took out the only ornament left with me, my anklets.”

“No mother I can’t take it. Master will kill me.”He said.

This made me realize that this was not Kovalan who sent him to get money but someone else.

Then I had no other option except Gauri to save my husband’s reputation.

“No don’t send it, it will die losing her mother for the second time.”Sakhi was desperate to stop me. But I was helpless.

He went away with the only support I had.

Next morning when I sat before mother Goddess for meditation, I saw Gauri she was not eating anything. There was chaos all around. A fat woman was chiding it. Suddenly Kovalan came. He instantly recognized Gauri. He caressed it and fed it.

How come it is here.”He asked his servant.

“It was the last possession Mother had.”He replied.

“What blunder I committed?  It’s time to go home. He said.

Ï opened my eyes it was not a dream. I called out Sakhi, “Decorate the house and light the stove, today I will cook. He is coming.”

She stared me with pity but did as I said. When the house and food was ready Kovalan was at door, after so many years. He looked pale and tired.

“Come have food.”I said. After so many years nothing changed between us but almost everything changed around us.

“Lets move to some other city and start a new life, I can’t stand peoples judgmental eyes here” He said.

We left for Madurai leaving our city back. The journey was tough but at last we reached there , surviving all odds. A kind man on the outskirts of the city gave his out house to us     to live. He promised to help Kovalan start up  his business here.

When I asked him to take my anklets and get some money he refused. But we had nothing except them, so he decided to take one anklet to the King’s jeweler and sell it. It was time he should come It started raining. I finished all my household chores alone, without Sakhi. Coming out of the flashback, I smiled at the mirror. A new life, a new beginning.

It was getting late enough to be worried. I once again stepped into the balcony and looked down. Except for a drenched street dog that was lying down miserably near the gate, there was not a soul to be seen anywhere. Rainwater had puddled under the lamppost. A breeze ruffled the mango tree in the courtyard and a few twigs  fell down and broke. Thunder rumbled in a distance .Did  I hear a soft knock at the door? I turned back there was no one.

I came closer to the door, there was a boy hiding behind it. He was crying. Oh! He was the boy who went with Kovalan to the jeweler.

“What happened? Where is my husband?”

“Jeweler says he is a thief. The King has ordered his execution in the amphitheater of the city.”He managed to say sobbing.

No it could not happen. Composing myself I said, “Take me there.”

I ran with the boy for the first time in my life, barefoot, in an unknown city for my life my Kovalan. When I reached there, bosom heaving, I was drained out. I tried to shout but the huge crowd was too loud. Till I managed to make my way through the crowd near him, he was hanged. My life was snatched away mercilessly.

In acute pain I could only shout, “Mother Goddess…” with my arms towards sky. I felt energy flowing through me, unstoppable energy. Now I was not an unnoticeable victim but an epitome of strength. Anger and hatred was oozing out of my eyes. The crowd made way for me. I went near Kovalan’s body.

“O King! What Neanderthal methods of justice you use? Give me back my husband, he was innocent.”

“He stole Queen’s anklet.” he stammered.

“This anklet” I pulled out my other anklet.

“What was your anklet filled with?”I asked the Queen.

“Pearls.” she whispered.

I tore open my anklet and red rubies scattered like blood drops all over. I started burning with anger and grief. The city where an ordinary woman could not get justice, she had to become Goddess todo justice with herself is destined to burn like hell. My curse fell on the city. King and Queen died leaving the city burning.

“Mother Goddess, take me with you.” I called her for a last time.

She came in a beautiful cart with Kovalan sitting beside her in all his old glory. My wait was over. We were together. A happy ending of my story.